I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
