he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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