i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
