I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
one might say we're banned from that church
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
