It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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