Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
