I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
