i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
