I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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