He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
