it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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