Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
