I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
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