Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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