thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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