You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Randomize
