she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
