i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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