So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
