I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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