Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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