just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
