We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Randomize
