like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
