that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
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