STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
