can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
