I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
