Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
