hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
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