WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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