really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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