no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
