Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
