Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize