Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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