she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
