Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
