Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize