so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize