It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
