She is in my trunk
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize