So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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