do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
