Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
