Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
