yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
