Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Randomize
