Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You have to summon your inner elephant
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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