He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize