Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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