i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
