I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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