Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
