he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
