I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
