I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
