i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
