You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
