god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
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