I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
