I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
