I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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