the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
