He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
