Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
