I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
