so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
